A Return To Decorum

Guys, check it out – after the week or so of inevitable ‘what does it mean, where do we go from here’ analysis pieces that are due to start inundating every media outlet in America… about ten minutes ago, then we officially won’t have to hear a fucking thing about health care for a little while. So hoo-fucking-ray for that, right? But wait, without health care to rally around, what excuse will protestors have now for yelling the nastiest slurs their pre-cro-mag speech centers can muster at members of Congress? Will we have to return to civil discourse about the important matters of our time? I sure fucking hope not!

Maybe the excuse will be that they are just mean-spirited, bigoted, knuckle draggers conceived of damaged sperm and hate thoughts? This is almost certainly true of the rank and file tea party protestors/haters of socialism/people who don’t quite understand what is going on but are elated that it is finally socially acceptable to shout ‘nigger’ in public. But think of the damage that could be done to American comedy if GOP politicians, chastened and accepting a defeat on this front that relates directly to their refusal to negotiate in good faith at any point in the last year-plus of debates over health care reform, nutted up and started acting like grown ups. Might it be the end of everything funny, ever?

Luckily, it appears that we will never have to worry about finding out, as “Member of the U.S. Congress is apparently one of the last jobs where you can shout “Baby killer” at one of your colleagues and have it be considered acceptable behavior in the office.

And if people shouting ‘Baby Killer’ still runs too mature for your tastes, watch below for the absolutely priceless video of House Minority Leader and King of the Losers John Boehner runs out of ideas completely, and, graciously accepting defeat, shouts until he is red in the face, pooping himself a little bit and nearly crying like a little girl on the floor of the House of Representatives.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! There was a time when these guys beat the hell out of each other with metal canes for less than this, and cheered one another on for it, and now this is the best they can do, because they are a bunch of petulant, bitchy, useless fucking children .The takeaway here is that health care reform, even imperfect health care reform, is good, and Republicans these days are shit-talking little sissy bitches. Especially John Boehner.

 

Joe Lieberman, Prince of Darkness!

Baron von Evil rides again!

Joe Lieberman, also known as the World’s Shittiest Person Ever, will caucus  with the Democrats if he has to, we suppose. But he does not like it, no sir, and he will not be trying to get any of them reelected. He will, as he did in 2008, be doing his level best to get Republicans elected to the Senate and House of Representatives. And if the Democrats keep control of the Senate, as they almost certainly will, then he will be happy to hang out with his buddies the Democrats for two more years – at least until he can try and get a Republican elected President again.

Because he is an evil fuck, in case you were wondering.

 

Online Crack

Oh, sweet God, I am in trouble.

Talking Points Memo has set up Twitter rooms, collecting all the Twitter feeds of elected representatives and political insiders on both sides of the aisle in one easy to find, constantly updating place. So now I don’t have to jump all over, constantly updating the feeds of different politicians to keep up with their antics.

I very well may never sleep again.

 

Keep It Like A Secret

File Under Completely Unsurprising:

We still don’t know a lot about the secret CIA intelligence program that was revealed this week, and by “don’t know a lot,” I of course mean “don’t know anything at all.” We don’t what sort of program this was, or what it entailed. We don’t know what information or results it was after, or how it went about getting them. And we don’t yet know why or how the CIA misled Congress about it.

But as of this morning, it seems we can confirm that we know one thing about the situation, and it shouldn’t surprise anybody: wherever there is a controversial intelligence program that needs to be kept under wraps due to its potential to offend the decency of Americans everywhere, Dick Cheney will be there .

Sources have told CNN that Cheney gave the order not to reveal to Congress the details of the program, which began shortly after Spetember 11, 2001 but was never fully enacted.