Dispatches from the realm of “Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t” – quitting smoking is now officially hazardous to your health. With deaths and drug reactions reaching an all time quarterly high, Pfizer’s stop smoking aid Chantix led the pack, with more than a 1,000 incidents attributed to it, including vivid dreams, mood swings, blackouts and traffic accidents. Chantix, which works by blocking the pleasurable effects of nicotine from reaching a smoker’s brain has also been linked to suicide attempts and depression, which Pfizer executives have been eager to pass off as symptoms of smoking withdrawal, rather than fairly routine side effects of a drug that keeps pleasure from entering your brain.

Also now bad for you – Chilean farmed salmon, which recently tested positive for crystal violet, and anti fungal agent that has been tenatively linked to… drumroll please … bladder cancer!

But more dangerous and also cooler than both the smoking and fish living their entire life spans coralled in filthy, infected tropical waters is the Bloodhound SSC, the plans for which were presented today at London’s Science Museum. If all goes right, this rocket car, powered by a jet engine, will reach speeds upwards of 1,000 miles per hour, breaking the world land speed record and setting a new bar for the very conept of awesome.