What’s more unnerving than knowing that a monkey can make plans for the future?

Realizing that when he does, it is with the intent of doing bodily harm to every soft, pink human he can reach with his massive armory of stones and chunks of concrete. 

Go ahead and file this alongside the Planet of the Apes films as proof that monkeys are dangerous creatures interested in nothing but ultimately supplanting mankind as the dominant species on the planet. That’s presumably why one of the only issues that can get any bipartisan support in Congress is legislation to ban monkeys as domestic pets. They may not be able to get a spending bill passed, but dammit, your representatives draw the line when it comes to providing material support to agents of hostile species. That’s something, right?

Now if only we could do something about the British plot to breed a race of supermonkeys, raised by robots on a diet of hatred for their human masters, waiting… waiting for their opportunity to strike.

It’s all in Revelations, people!

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