I’m not saying we will never live in a world where our soft, fleshy meatling society is overseen with ruthless efficiency by advanced robotic overlords. I’m not saying I won’t live to see that day. Hell, I’m not even going so far as to say I think that it is necessarily a bad thing. 

What I do feel comfortable in saying, though, is that when the cold, steel revolution comes, there are some robots that will be up against the wall with the rest of us. And as long as these kinds of contraptions are around, our pitiful human society can rest pretty easily knowing that most robots are too busy dancing and modelling to plot the overthrow of our society. Or at least, that’s what they want us to think…

For instance, this DARPA financed bot from Brown University recognizes a human command figure, and follows commands at a wave of their hand. Sure, it’s a cool feature for us, but it’s exactly the sort of carbon-based ass kissing that’ll get you beat up at Robot Middle School.

Next up in our review of recent robots whose existence should not make you concerned for your safety is this “basic pleasure model” from Japan. I’m scared of a lot of things that robots are going to do in the near future. Bowing and posing are not among them.

And finally, the least intimidating of the bunch is Lara, a dancing robot from Portugal’s LIACC that analyzes song rhythms, followed by busting moves accordingly. Ironically, it’s this most cutesy of the batch – Lara comes equipped with a skirt and matching silly hat – that could be weaponized most effectively. Just put some blades onto those wildly gyrating arms, turn on a rumba, and the most adorable robot since Johnny 5 becomes a pint sized abattoir on wheels. 

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