Okay, The Philippines, it’s time for us to have a talk.
You need to stop eating critically endangered species.
I know, incredibly rare animals are the sweetest meat – the sort that no human being may ever taste again. Now, I’m willing to look the other way when you guys eat a Worcester’s Button Quail, long thought extinct in the wild – I mean, I’m not, but I’m pretty liable to forget about it eventually.
But this week? This week you went too far.
This week, you see, marked the sighting of an incredibly rare megamouth shark. How rare is megamouth? Well, since the discovery of the filter feeding species in 1976, only 40 specimens have ever been caught or even seen. Up until March 30, that is, when a megamouth was caught by mackerel fishermen off of Burias Island – the 41st encounter with megamouth on record. Though the creature died while being captured, the fishermen were wise enough to bring the strange catch to a local conservation biologist, who recognized the creature and urged the men not to eat it.
Which, of course, is exactly what they did, marking not only the 41st sighting of megamouth, but also the 1st recorded instance of it being sauteed in coconut milk. Researchers were quick to point out that, while less than ideal, the encounter still provided valuable scientific information about the creature, such as never before performed tests of it’s texture, taste, and overall delectability.