It’s come to my attention that some grad student at the University of Portsmouth has been assigned for months now to tickle a variety of apes – bonobos, gorillas and orangutans, for instance – and help determine if the noise they are making is actually a primitive form of laughter.

I put it to you that this person has a damn racket going. Even if everybody at their first job, upon being introduced to them, ends the conversation with “Oh, you’re the monkey tickler! Welcome aboard.” I’m just saying, there are a lot worse jobs to be had.

For example.