Good news, everybody! The Genius Committee at Asylum has debunked the long held myth of women’s drinks being drugged at bars! Only, you know… not so much.

Now, the story is poorly written and comes off as dismissive to the victims of sexual assault, but I’m not taking on that point. I don’t hold blogger Jeremy Taylor to any sort of journalistic or literary standard. This guy isn’t a reporter – he’s the fucking funny pages. He’s an Internet gag reel, and when he mouths off and sounds like a douche bag, it’s probably just because he’s a douche bag. I’ll leave the indignation at Asylum’s flippant attitude towards sexual assault to someone who can express it more eloquently than I over at Channel Surfing The Apocalypse, which drew my attention to it in the first place.

Instead, I’ll take point on the indignation over the fact that a study of 100 self reported cases in one hospital is being treated as if it closes the book on a worldwide problem. A hundred case study, in one hospital, of only self reported cases who think they’ve had a drink spiked in the last 12 hours is the sort of schlock science that should be laughed out of the room. A quick theory on why none of these 100 cases showed signs of being drugged in the last 12 hours – maybe it’s because the people who had actually been drugged were being sexually assaulted instead of taken to the hospital.

The fact of the matter is that no solid numbers on how many sexual assaults involve the victims being drugged is that sexual assault survivors tend, out of fear, shock, and a myriad of other reasons, not to report the crime for a couple of days. Once they do report, (if they do report, and many of them sadly do not) the drugs commonly used have passed through their systems and been rendered difficult or impossible to detect, if they are even tested for. (You can get a more in depth take on the problem here.) And a handful of drunks taken to one hospital over the course of a year and a half doesn’t prove otherwise. This study isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on, and there’s no

My best guess is that the doctors behind this study wanted to get their names in the paper, and figured the best way to do that would be a controversial study. And since it was going to be controversial, it didn’t have to be terribly accurate. Luckily, they had a local paper that didn’t give much of a damn about accurate methodology and probably culled a press release into a quick and easy controversial headline. From here, Taylor picked up the ball and ran with it, and that, kids, is how bullshit pseudo-science turns into some guy claiming that no girl had ever been raped after having her drink spiked because he “read a story about it on the Internet.”

And then my goddamn head explodes.