A memo to the guy who brought one handgun to a health care reform rally in Connecticut last week:

You are a fucking sissy.

Now people in Arizona? These are people who know how to brandish a weapon in public, gawd-demmit. After all, if you don’t have your shooting iron on you at all times, how the hell are you supposed to protect yourself from the rattlesnakes and cattle rustlers who plague The Copper State? With this in mind, it’s a bit more understandable that the people of Arizona would feel uncomfortable going to see the President, who we can only assume rode into town on a coal driven steam train, unarmed. They live in a state where, without a six gun, you are not even able to safely go into town to pick up rock candy for the little ones and a bolt of gingham for the wife. And now the President is trying to kill their Grandma.

I’m saying, I get it, Arizona. You live someplace where it is too hot all the goddamn time, and you have an insane person for a sheriff, and your mail still arrives by Pony Express and men in black Stetson hats menace the populace. It is completely understandable that you would become irrational and edgy and look like a bunch of gun wielding lunatics to the rest of the nation. But it’s just because you are a bunch of gun wielding lunatics – that’s not your fault.

So rather than rail against what you are doing, I will make one simple plea; holster your weapons, Arizona. You are making the rest of us exceedingly fucking nervous with those things. It is too goddamn hot for you to be thinking straight, and somebody is going to get hurt.

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