Oh, shit! Mad Prophet of the House of Representatves Michelle Bachmann is ontoPresident Obama’s secret EVIL socialist plot to put every American on an EVIL COMMUNIST DIET consisting only of stale bread, poisoned water and hate. 

Now America’s favorite one woman liberal blog post machine is spreading damnable lies about how the machine like bureaucratic government will control what we eat and how many calories we consume in a day, conjuring specters of bread lines and rationing that terrify her constitents in Minnesota, which during the winter already pretty well resembles the Russian tundra. It also instills completely reasonable fear in the heart of every American who understands that being able to cram deep fried tacos down your gullet at will underpins every one of our constitutional rights

Of course, Bachmann’s fears are ridiculous. While food will be rationed under the coming Socialist Dystopia of America, these rations will be plentiful, and everyone will be able to eat their fill once all of our grandparents and down syndrome babies and Kanye West have been rounded up and processed  into a thick, nutritive paste.

Advertisements