Researchers in Germany have developed a drug that, when taken through the nose during a late night cram session, seems to improve retention and memory formation in college students who get a good night’s sleep after taking the drug. In other words, the Germans have invented cocaine, but made it significantly lamer. Good job, Germany.

I guess… nobody told Germany about cocaine? That seems sort of unfair. I mean, they did pretty well fuck up the first half of the twentieth century and all, but seriously, that shit was years ago.

I just hope no one was planning on winning a Nobel Prize in medicine for this, because they already gave those out today, and the team of American researchers who discovered DNA telemorase landed it. It’s  safe bet that, after giving the requisite speech about how this validates the entire field of study they’re engaged in, the winners almost certainly proceeded to revel in wads of money and the adulation of their peers. And you can bet they went out and threw down some of that fat Nobel cash on a bunch of blow like right thinking Americans, who could not be less interested in lame ass German nasal spray for brain function.

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