Hey, you know how David Vitter wants so badly not to talk about the issue of Keith Bardwell, that he will hide for hours on end, clinging to the top of elevators with his suction cupped reptilian fingers and remaining perfectly still if need be?


Bardwell, you’ll recall, is the Louisiana Justice of the Peace who refuses to marry interracial couples on the grounds that their children will have a hard time in life and grow up being discriminated against by legions of bigots like…well, Keith Bardwell, just as a ‘for example.’ Unlike other figures from across the political spectrum in Louisiana, Vitter has been conspicuously silent on the matter.

Until this morning, when Vitter finally released a statement on the matter. Kind of. Sorta. Okay, it’s not really a statement on the situation, and doesn’t mention Bardwell by name, but we’re going to call it a statement on the situation, okay? Okay.

Rather than condemning Bardwell and calling for his resignation as pinko lefties in Louisiana like Gov. Bobby Jindal have done, Vitter released a statement reiterating his belief that “judges should follow the law.” After deftly avoiding taking any stance on the still controversial matter of interracial marriage and assuring his constituents that he knows how to use a truism in a statement as well as anybody, Vitter’s statement goes on to piss and moan about journalists asking him questions about the situation at all, especially ones like Mike Stark, who chased Vitter into an elevator, or “Senate Escape Pod” yesterday and made him look like a total pussy of the highest order in front of the entire Internet.

Speaking of which – let’s see that again!

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