Great. Someone gave wingnuts a video game, and of course it’s the one with with hot, gay, man on elf action. There’s also potential for lesbian sex and, yes, boring old heterosexual shenanigans in the game, but somehow it doesn’t seem like people are getting too worked up about those options.

They are, naturally, terrified that, in addition to shut-ins or gun-toting sociopaths, video games now have the potential to turn their kids into gays. Or, presumably, elves.

I will take just one moment to take issue with the characterization of the hijinks available in the game as “dirty ‘gay’ sex” by conservative freakout machine WorldNetDaily. Gay sex maybe, but dirty? Look, folks, I just so happen to know one hell of a lot about elves, having spent significant portions of my life poring over scholarly tomes devoted at least in part to elf culture and biology. And I can tell you this – if you had sex with an elf, gay or straight, it would be the cleanest, daintiest most dignified sex you had ever had. And also hot. That’s just a fact.

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