Will someone please ask Pat Roberston why God hates Chile so much? While new Chilean president Sebastian Pinera struggled to take his oath of office yesterday, the nation was shaken by no less than 10 aftershocks over the course of six hours, the strongest of which measured in at 6.9 on the Richter scale. Is this because Sebastian Pinera is a Secret Voodoo Communist? We presume the answer is yes, because this is the only scientific reason for earthquakes to ever happen ever, but only Pat Robertson and his invisible Super Friend, Scary Vengeful Magic Jesus, can really know the answer to that.

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