In a truly stunning example of cutting off your nose to spite your lesbian, a high school in Mississippi has decided to cancel their senior prom altogether rather than allow a gay student to attend with her girlfriend, because everyone knows that the worst thing you can do to a gay person is cancel their dance party.

The administration of Itawamba County Agricultural High School 86ed their planned April 2 prom “due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events.” The events  in question center around a lesbian student, Constance McMillen, having the gall to demand the the administration afford her the same rights to enjoy her prom as straight students at the school and , well, basically treat her like a human being.

This outrage was too much for the school to bear, so they have instead axed the entire prom, for everyone, because that is what Jesus would have wanted, if Jesus was also a half-wit, knuckle-dragging, bigot who had finally wormed his way onto the Dogpatch school board after another longstanding chair holder finally died of moonshine poisoning and general embarrassment.

The cancellation of prom is, of course, an unmitigated bummer for every student at the school, because the last thing high school needs to be is shittier and more awkward, especially for gay students. But more unnerving is the precedent the decision sets, meaning that the school can cancel any event if they think it’s starting to get too gay. The implications for Easter, replete with it’s fluffy pink rabbits, pastel decor and meticulously arranged gift baskets are downright chilling. And come December, we fully expect Mississippi to start cracking down on any elf who seems a little too merry.

Advertisements