The Beehive State has been officially scandalized by revelations that state legislator Kevin Garn had sexy naked hot-tubbing relations with a with an employee back in 1985, when he was 28 and and she was… oh yeah, 15 years old. This actually does not present a huge problem for Garn, as going naked hot-tubbing with a 15-year-old girl is not the sort of thing anyone even mentions in Utah, as long as you are at least considering making her your 6th or 7th wife.

BUT! If there is one thing the people of Utah cannot abide, it it piss poor accounting practices, of which Garn is also guilty. Garn apparently paid his naked underaged hot-tubbing partner Cheryl Mahr $150,000 in hush money during his failed 2002 Congressional campaign, but did not report it on his federal election financing forms, which are financial disclosure forms they make you fill out even if you are a loser. And keep in mind, these are finance forms for Congressional candidates, so you know there is a very clearly marked box for payments of hush money to those with whom you have had illicit or illegal dalliances. That shit is a tax deduction for people running for Congress.

This all came out last night when, during the last session of the Utah State Legislature before their recess, Garn confessed that he had made a terrible mistake and then wept like a sissy baby, though he also pointed out atht while hot-tubbing nude with a 15-year-old girl who you used to teach in Sunday school “was clearly inappropriate,” he had never touched Mahr sexually. According to Mahr, though – yeah, he pretty much did.

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