Conservationists have pointed the finger at Nobel Peace Prize-nominee and abstract concept the Internet as one of the greatest threats to rare and threatened animals the world over.

In all fairness, it does not appear that the Internet has actually developed sentience and reached out from cyberspace, intent on murdering both our cutest and most threatened species. All it has done is what it does – make people more connected. And as is so often the case, the people connected in this way are truly awful excuses for human beings – namely wealthy people who like to eat, snort, or sleep on the pelts of rare animals and other people who have no qualms about hunting down and killing the aforementioned rare animals. The impact of this is clear – we can either keep endangered species like polar bears and rhinos OR we can have the Internet. And since endangered animals, of all but the best trained variety, do not bring us porn, it is an easy bet which one we will be  keeping around.

This news does deal a blow to the Internet’s chances at the Nobel peace prize, though. Try and name another Nobel Peace Prize-winner who was responsible for the annihilation of a species. If you’re thinking of Martin Luther King, Jr., think again! Despite the reverend’s best efforts, small groups of pandas remain extant in the wild, dealing a crushing blow to the American civil rights movement.

Advertisements