While the Bold & Fresh Tour 2010 sounds like a harmless ad campaign for some spectacular detergent, it is actually something far more sinister – a meeting of the minds crafted of pure evil. When Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly take the stage together, it will be the like the Flintstones meet the Jetsons, except if every character in those beloved cartoons had a black heart wrought of cold iron that pumped nothing save venomous bile and existed only to perpetuate an infinite variety of sufferings on every human being on the planet.

As to who gets to be bold and who remains merely fresh in this pairing,we can only guess. Also a mystery is which two fine young gentlemen will play the parts of Beck and O’Reilly in the inevitable series of astonishingly deviant gay porn films (The Bod & Flesh Tour, 2010, 2011, Spring Break, etc.) that is sure to be the closest thing to a wholesome result of this tour.

And while it doesn’t seem like that much pure, conecntrated loathing for humanity in one place could possibly be a good idea, keep in mind one thing. Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck will be on a bus. Together. Several times. So join me, if you will, in a prayer to a departed hero – Ghost of Cliff Burton, we beseech thee to work thy dark ways. Never has you nation needed you more.

Here is an Interesting Fact for you: When Bill O’Reilly asked L0u Dobbs with no sense of irony at all “Is Barack Obama the Devil?” last night, it was not the worst thing said by a proto-human on Fox News last night!

That honor goes to the cretinous, malformed troglodyte known as Glenn Beck,  for comparing health care reform to child rape, because what a ha-ha funny joke that is, right?

Wow, the American public is just like that girl that Roman Polanski raped. I guess I never saw it that way because I am not a TOTAL FUCKING MONSTER. But yeah, I guess if I was Glenn Beck, and was thus WORSE THAN A BILLION SERIAL KILLERS, then yeah, I would think that rape jokes are hilarious.