Government To Be Replaced By A Bunch Of Assholes On Facebook

What is to be done for the angry American who, by and large does not particularly understand what is actually in health care reform legislation but knows that socialist muslims are a bad thing?

Well, when the law of the land, as enacted by a political group elected by a large margin, doesn’t jibe with your personal beliefs, there’s only really one option – demand that any law you don’t like be overturned by the Facebook! As any legal scholar will tell you, social media is pretty much the new Constitution, and if you can get a million people to agree on something on Facebook, it must be both accurate and righteous, because a million is, like, a whole lot of people and stuff!*

This is because what the framers of the constitution wanted was for every single citizen to weigh in on every single legislative issue that ever arose for debate. It is called representative democracy, so far as anyone who has never read the Constitution knows!

*unless you are talking about the whole United States, in which case it represents a fraction of a percent of our population.

 

Americans Love Them Some Teabagging

A spanking new Rasmussen poll out today points a spotlight at just what kind of a monster the Republican party has created in the Tea Party movement. The national telephone survey shows that, given a generic ballot, more respondents would vote for the Tea Party candidate than the GOP candidate, with the Democratic candidate coming in at 36% support, the Tea Party candidate getting 23% and the GOP candidate getting just 18% of the vote.

Especially troubling for the GOP and moderately sane people everywhere, among independent voters the Tea Party candidate is more popular than the Democrat and almost three times as popular as the GOP candidate.

So congratulations, Republican party. What’s your encore? Invent a party that runs even more hard right than the Tea Party?

 

Proof That The 9/12 Movement Attracts America’s Best and Brightest

It is a good day to be an American! Earlier today a bunch of Congressmen tore up paper in the halls of Congress to prove a point – that they are mature, reasonable people who are open to reasonably evaluating the difficult problems that face our country. And now conservative rapper Hi-Caliber reminds us about all of the other things that make America great, like Joe Wilson and God, but not “alternative lifestyles!” To those, Hi-Caliber gives a limp wrist of mocking disapproval! See for yourself!

The important thing to remember here is that this is completely fucking straight faced, rather than the shitty fucking Colbert Show skit it looks like. This guy is a real, actual human being – he exists, and you share the world with him, every day! For those of you playing along at home, this video closes the book on the matter – irony is dead and we are now, as a society, fucking it’s corpse in the street.