On The Road Again

Hey, remember how Mark Sanford was eager to get back to the business of running South Carolina? Turns out the best way to run South Carolina is from Europe.

In further proof that when the lord made Mark Sanford, he made a ramblin’ man, the beleaguered South Carolina Governor arrived in London yesterday. And with his family in tow, no less! It’s the beginning of  a two week sabbatical that marks Sanford’s third trip out of South Carolina after turning “hiking the Appalachian Trail” into a tawdry sexual metaphor just a month ago. According to his staff, Sanford “will be in contact with other state officials and staff throughout the trip, and will continue conducting the business of the state.”

And after he gets back, all this messy affair business will have blown over, right? After all, what better way to help people forget about the intercontinental jaunt you took to nail your exotic mistress than too take a widely publicized international jaunt for the sake of (presumably) nailing your legitimate wife? Flawless plan, Mark. I’m sure this is the last you’ll hear about your wandering eye. And wandering penis. And wandering pretty much everything, come to think of it.

Meanwhile, in news from the opposite corner of Republican Sex Scandal-vania, John Ensign is hemmhoraging senior staff. His communications director Tony Mazzola announced his departure yesterday, following Ensign’s now former chief of staff John Lopez in a rush to the private sector lifeboats.

 

In Which The Dogs Are Not Yet Called Off

Hey, everybody – Mark Sanford really thinks it’s time to move forward and discuss things other than the whole “multiple affairs over a span of years, occasionally on the taxpayers dime” thing.

Seriously, guys – he feels really bad about it. And like he says, who hasn’t made a mistake in their life, right? So let’s just all  stop making the governor feel awkward about the fact that he’s apparently not wearing his wedding ring anymore (video here at Snackfeed) and get back to the business of governing.

Please?

After all, as Mark reminds us, “all of our walks in life are on a daily basis.”

Except, of course, getting an Argentinian former newscaster into bed. That shit can take years.

 

In Which The End Is Upon… Not Us, But Someone At Least

Despite referring to revelations of his years of dalliances as his funeral (a comparison that’s no end of creepy in it’s own right) Mark Sanford’s editorial in South Carolina newspaper The State ultimately reads like a document written by a guy who seems to think he still has a political career left after this.

It’s almost sad, you know?

And by sad, I of course mean really, really, funny.

You had a good run, Governor Sanford, and if things had turned out differently, you could have been a contender. Instead of a bum. Which is what you are.

It’s time to exit stage left, Mark -we have some lovely parting gifts for you, and someone will be around with your car shortly.