The most dangerous thing to threaten polar bear habitats the freaking ice melting out from under them, which is totally NOT caused by global warming, you filthy hippie, is grizzly bears. Sick of being consigned to more southerly habitats, grizzly bears are arriving with troubling regularity in what scientists traditionally think of as polar bear habitat in Manitoba, Canada.
The bad news is that the two biggest species of bear in the world slugging it out with their very survival at stake is terribly, terribly sad, and promises to be just one more strike against the polar bears already dimming prospects for long term survival.
The good news? Dude, did you not see the part about “the two biggest species of bear in the world slugging it out with their very survival at stake?” This will be a super awesome animal fight, on par with shark versus crocodile, gorilla versus anaconda, and boxing kangaroo versus talkshow.
Place your bets on the future of all ursine-kind today and get prepared for the battle of the century. Round One, FIGHT!
The device pumps water through tiny, micron wide holes in a metal plate, using the power of surface tension to create adhesion. And eventually, you’ll be able to use a palm sized one to climb buildings, which is sweet. Now if we can get somebody working on making high-tensile web shooters a reality, we can really start striking fear in the hearts of muggers everywhere.
Do you find yourself desperately trying to look away from the hideous train wreck that is the special election in Massachusetts, but unable to turn your head from the political carnage?
Yeah, us too. Which is exactly why we’re bringing you something to take your mind off the exit polling and voter turnout numbers we’ll be subjected to today and the endless talking head analysis (and perhaps the Coleman-esque legal challenge?) that are certain to dominate the airwaves in the ensuing days.
Just don’t think about all that right now. Think instead about the future, and all the laser nipples it will bring.
Thanks to Gizmodo for this. We now return you to your regularly scheduled pacing and swearing, already in progress.
It is a generally accepted scientific fact that dinosaurs are, technically speaking, pretty awesome. But apparently, the speedy ground dwelling carnivore known as Sinornithosaurus was even more awesome than previously suspected. Not only was it a feathered raptor about the size of a turkey that ran down it’s prey, but evidence suggests it also had venomous fangs, reminiscent of those found in rear fanged snakes today. The venom probably didn’t kill prey outright, but merely disabled it, making it a simpler meal for the sinornithosaurus.
But still, venomous fangs!And really folks, is there anything so cool that venomous fangs don’t make it just a little more cool?
Okay, two things. First thing – motorcycles are not safe. Second thing – rocket launchers are not safe. So we should be clear that there is no manner in which attaching rocket launchers to your motorcycle is in any way safe, for yourself or anyone else on sharing the road with you.
What it is, is totally bitchin’. Seriously – this dude is basically a hidden helicopter blade away from being a M.A.S.K action figure.
I’m not usually one for procedural porn, but this is just too goddamn good to pass up. Al Franken, presiding over the Senate, informs Joe Lieberman that no, he may not have more time to finish his speech. This is… profound brilliance and justice on the floor of the Senate, courtesy of TPM.
Watch it, and then watch it again. Drink it in. Then giggle a little bit when Lieberman assures Franken he doesn’t take it personally. Actually, Joe, this one you might want to. You may be too important to the caucus to get the string of Senatorial pink bellies and swirlies you so richly deserve, but you have not behaved in a way that is going to make you many friends. Then keep giggling when John McCain, proceeds to literally wag his finger scornfully at the entire august legislative body and just barely avoid a rudeness induced aneurysm.
This Friday, the scientists at NASA will make humanity’s oldest dream a reality. At 4:30 AM on October 9, America will blow up the moon.
Who The Fuck Do You Think You Are Controlling My Tides, Moon? You Aren't Even A Fucking Planet. You Make Me Sick.
The LCROSS mission will launch an empty fuel container at the moon at about twice the speed of a bullet, raising a cloud of dust and particulate matter miles above it’s surface, ostensibly providing insight into the unexplained presence of ice on the moon and helping researchers discern if liquid water ever existed there.
Of course, this ridiculous story is just a cover for the real LCROSS mission – to find a chink in the moon’s unbreakable dusty armor, so that we may once and finally rid ourselves of that hateful orbiting chunk of rock, staring down on us in judgment like the hollow eye of an inscrutable god. This has been the goal of all human space exploration since the first manned mission to the moon. Despite their acquisition of a staggering number of moon rocks, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and some other dude made almost no headway in learning the secret weakness of the moon. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this failure that has left members of the mission depressed, angry, unbalanced and violent upon their return to Earth. And well it should – if anyone’s staggering scientific failure deserves to render them broken shadows of men, it’s this bunch of losers.
The Moon Landing - America's Most Crippling Defeat.
On Friday, NASA has it’s chance at redemption, and an empty fuel container may finally succeed where legions of men have failed – in revealing how we can finally end the tyrannical reign of our most hated lunar nemesis. But just as it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a small army of nerds with expensive telescopes to vaporize our only natural terrestrial satellite. Which is why NASA is asking amateur astronomers to keep their eyes trained on the impact site, ensuring that no detail is missed. So if you have an expensive telescope and no social life, which, let’s face it, are not exactly mutually exclusive, please do your civic duty – stay up until 4:30 Friday morning and help us learn how to finally kill the moon.
Meanwhile, those of us who don’t have access to thousands of dollars worth of optical equipment but still want to swell with pride when our mighty nation bitchslaps the moon can do what right thinking, patriotic Americans have been doing to feel a sense of civic engagement for years – whip up some nachos, crack a High Life and watch it on TV.
And of course, those of you who are already champing at the bit for the United States to HURRY THE FUCK UP AND DESTROY THE MOON ALREADY!!! – well you just take it easy there partner. Cool your jets and check out the simulation below, courtesy of the late, great Mr. Show.
Lots of really awesome images from the depths of space this week, starting with images from the refurbished Hubble Space Telescope.
Granted a new lease on life courtesy of it’s recent retrofit, the venerable observatory showed everyone that it’s still got what it takes. Check out images of stars being born inside the Carina Nebula and a close up of the super dense Omega Centauri star cluster at HubbleSite.
The relative new kid on the block, NASA’s Swift satellite, is no slouch either though. This week it sent back a truly spectacular mosaic image of the Andromeda galaxy, giving us the most complete view so far of our nearest neighbor, galactically speaking.
Not to be cut out of the act, Esa’s Planck observatory has started strutting it’s stuff this week as well, sending back thermal images of the oldest light in the universe which are important to our understanding of the cosmos, if a little yawn inducing aesthetically.
O happy day, o joyous news! Souless crap rock powerhouse Oasis has finally burnt itself out in a sissy British catfight fueled champagne supernova! Lead guitarist and songwriter Noel Gallagher pulled the plug on the band, apparently realizing it may be the only way to redeem his immortal soul.
It’s too late for that, of course, but we’re all spared any more whining brit pop from the brothers Gallagher, which could buy Noel a couple thousand years of purgatory, depending on the going karmic rate.
Oh, Barney Frank, you make my heart sing. And I’m comfortable enough with who I am to admit that I get more than a little hot when you say things like “It is a tribute to the First Amendment that this kind of vile, contemptible nonsense is so freely propagated.”
Now that Frank has stood up to these jackasses without the sky falling, hopefully more Democrats will develop the fairly minimal balls it should take to say that the stupid bigots coming out to these town halls are just that – stupid bigots, whose opinions are not worthy of our attention.
Current TV reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee, are safe and sound back in the US following almost 5 months of imprisonment in North Korea. Their release comes on the heels of a visit to North Korea by former president turned humanitarian/wealthy gadabout Bill Clinton.
Oh, Bill Clinton, is there anything you can’t do?
You can find some handy background on Clinton’s trip over at Caffeinated Politics. Apparently Al Gore and Bill Richardson were among the names on the short list for this diplomatic mission, but at the end of the day, North Korea wanted Bill Clinton. Because everybody wants Bill Clinton, whether they admit it or not.
Glaring Health Code Violations 