Life’ll Kill Ya

An Oklahoma man is in police custody after making posts to his Twitter account that are even less intelligible than standard tweets.

Daniel Hayden, aka Citizen Quasar was arrested after trying to make way too big of a deal of the April 15th Teabagging protests, attempting to incite fellow Oklahomans to violent rebellion against the government and the New World Order. Most of the material in question was posted on the evening of April 11th, when Hayden, who may have had a few too many, transitioned almost seamlessly from posting Alice Cooper videos and misattributing Conan quotes to full blown dangerous whack jobbery,  like this

START THE KILLING NOW! I am wiling to be the FIRST DEATH! I Await the police. They will kill me in my home.

Luckily, the police didn’t have to go quite that far, arresting Hayden later that week. So, for those of you playing along at home, here is the current list of things not to do on Twitter:

1) engage in name calling with fellow professionals

2)threaten to decapitate people on the steps of a state capitol building

That is all.

But hey, credit where credit is due – Hayden didn’t actually hurt anyone. That’s more than can be said for way too many people recently, and with the economy finally seeming to settle to the bottom, the recent and tragic string of familicides is probably going to get worse before it gets better.

 

In Praise of Marketing Savvy

You know, you’d think that if GOP think tanks are going to put forth the considerable time and effort of organizing a “grassroots” anti-tax rally, at some point in that (I would assume) reasonably thorough process, someone would say “Hey, wait a minute, everybody. Our protest is going to be made synonymous in the media with the term for putting your scrotum in someones mouth.” 

I mean, they have to have a guy who vets this sort of stuff, right?

Apparently not. 

Following this incredibly thought provoking and not at all ridiculous display (complete with not at all ridiculous theme song), The Heartland Institute, The American Spectator and the smattering of other big spending right wing organizations behind the New American Tea Party are hard at work on their next round of faux populist rebellion.

This time, instead of just taking a stand against hypothetical future tax hikes, they’re prepared to take on the entire platform of the Democratic party. That’s right, liberals across the nation – prepare for the all fronts activist offensive that is… Operation Donkeypunch.