After the failure of their three best options for stopping the stream of oil into the Gulf of Mexico which also happen to sound like deviant sex acts – the top hat, the hot tap, and the junk shot – BP is officially out of ideas and just making shit up at this point.

The latest – a robot with a hacksaw attached to it will saw off a length of the pipe so BP can place a dome over it, a tactic those of you who have been paying attention will recognize as shit that didn’t work the first fucking time. And if that doesn’t work, BP also has a small army of little Dutch boys at the ready, and they are prepared to drown as many small children as they need to to avoid paying a monetary fine that will inevitably be whittled down to something like ten minutes worth of profits in the coming years.

Meanwhile, in even dumber news regarding the oil spill, one of the many cleanup options being considered by BP is a centrifuge designed by Kevin Costner while he was on the set of Waterworld, which promises to be to science what Waterworld was to cinema – the awesomest thing ever.

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We’ve seen robots that can solve Rubik’s cubes before, so frankly, it’s going to take something pretty special in that realm to impress us.

Like one made of Legos that looks like a futuristic torture device of some kind and solves a random cube in under 11 seconds while also inducing seizures with it’s garish display of flashing lights.

Yeah, that would probably do it.